Pumpkins. Boobies. Yay!

Pshhh. Kids these days are totally spoiled. When I was a kid, we got our Halloween pumpkins at Safeway. In fact, I assumed that's where pumpkins came from...the concrete foyer of the grocery store. But my own kids pretty much expect to get their pumpkins from a REAL pumpkin patch each year. What do they think? That pumpkins come from the ground or something?

Now, on to obligatory pumpkin patch photos.

Home Alone throw back:

 

Baby's first pumpkin!

 

Yummy pumpkin!

 

The wheelbarrow only tipped over once during the photo shoot.

 

 

I'm on a CPS watch list somewhere.

 

 

Ok, that's better.

 

 

Me and Farmer Hubs.

 

 

Boobies?

 

 

Penis?

 

 

The End.

Me 1 And Me 2

Today, I arranged for the service of a complaint. Technically, it was a third-party complaint contained in a responsive pleading. This was the first time I had to serve someone with a lawsuit and, the whole thing made me uncomfortable. We're months from the statute of limitations but, for some reason, I was so paranoid about making a mistake. I checked (and re-checked and checked again) the service of process statutes and civil rules to make sure I was complying with everything. What should have taken me ten minutes turned into an arduous affair.

As much as I love being an attorney, there are so many times that practicing law makes me uncomfortable. "Really? Someone's putting ME in charge of their case? Don't they know that I can't even make my bed in the mornings, that I wear bright berry-colored rainboots, and occassionally fantasize about being a Ninja Turtle?"

By the way, what would you say if you caught your attorney wearing these:

Target was out of black and I needed a way to stay dry during my walk-heavy commute. Confession: I've actually grown to like them!

Sometimes I'm amazed at the extreme differences in my two lives: professional and personal. I can responsibly manage cases worth thousand (or more) of dollars. But I can barely manage my own stuff. I can (for the most part) follow procedures, create litigation checklists, and keep files organized at work. But at home, my crap is everywhere and it's a scary thing each time I cook a meal. I dress on the more conservative side at work (hose, black tights, tucked-in shirts, more skirts than pants) but at home, I'm super relaxed (flannel! yoga pants!). I simple exercise the "smell" test before putting something on. Clearly, this is evidence that I am two different people.

One reason, I couldn't practice law in a small town: I'd be constantly afraid of running into clients at the grocery store while rocking dirty yoga pants, a ratty sweatshirt, and bird's nest hair.

Neutral Laughs

I know everyone is probably as sick as I am of all the political talk on social media right now. So, maybe you will find this refreshing. This video is 100% politically neutral. In full disclosure, it is also 100% nonsensical. And you can breath easier knowing in advance that this video contains no mention of binders full of women.

Do I have a lame sense of humor or is this the most hilarious thing on the internet right now?

"That dude's the sickest. We hate him. Because he had eggs for a bath" - Gov. Romney

Super Dad Saves The Day

Before my trip to Vegas, I had left my husband alone with both kids for maybe....a couple hours. Even when it was just Jacob, I think he maybe handled one overnighter without me. So, I was a little worried to be jet-setting out of the state for three nights and four days and leaving the men alone together.

I knew the kids would be fine. I was actually worried for my husband. Jacob alone can be a lot of work when you are doing everything on your own. Throw in a 6 month old baby who still wakes up 1-2 times per night and you've got one tough, tough job! I actually had imagine stepping off the airplane to a frantic husband shouting, "How do you do it!? You're so amazing. You're never allowed to leave again!"

That's not exactly how it went down. It turns out, I had absolutely nothing to worry about. My husband picked me up at the airport in a squeaky clean, freshly vacuumed car filled with two sleeping kids. The kids were alive. They were clean. They were fed. My husband looked happy and upbeat. Not exhausted and frantic.

When I asked how it went he said, "Oh, it was easy. Ryan only woke up once a night and went right back to sleep. On Saturday, I let Jacob and Ryan play in the living room and then I slept in until 9am." WHAT?! He wasn't supposed to say that. He was supposed to go on and on about how essential I am to the family. That he could never do it without me! How he hasn't slept in three days. That Ryan was in tears from missing me so much. Humpff.

The real zinger though was coming home to a spotless house. With the floors swept and vacuumed, the dishes done, and the laundry folded. I was absolutely floored! The house never looks this clean when I'M home with the kids. He totally put me to shame. I guess I can't really use the kids as an excuse not to clean on the weekends anymore....

I guess it's good to know that if I ever ran away or was abducted by aliens, they'd be just fine.

Half Birthday

Ryan had his sixth month check-up today! He did amazing after his shots. He only cried for 30 seconds and then was extra happy for the rest of the day (I'm used to my kids being a little clingy and crabby after shots). I'd like to think he was really happy to have me back. And...breaking news: this is the first time that I didn't cry during shots!

Obligatory baby stats:

• Height: 26.6 inches (50%)
• Weight: 17 lbs, 15 oz (50%)
• Head: 75% (don't remember the number)

The doctor said I could start introducing baby snacks (such as biscuits, etc) when Ryan starts to master biting and chewing and self-feeding. I didn't bother to tell her that he's already doing all three. Just this past week he's learned to pick up cheerio-sized baby snacks and can even get them in his mouth on his own. Ryan being able to snack away on baby biscuits and baby cheerios has been a life saver. I can put him in his walker with a tray full of snacks and he stays busy, eating, talking, and laughing, while I cook dinner or do some chores.

During Ryan's exam, I had him sitting up on the exam table. He was babbling away and rocking vigorously back and forth the whole time. He does that at home and it cracks me up. It reminds me of some crazy person sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, talking to himself. The doctor got a pretty good kick out of it as well. She was impressed that he stayed upright and didn't tumble off the table.

Speaking of mobility, Ryan's really close to army crawling but he's not quite there yet. When I set him on his tummy, it's fun to watch him spin in circles on the carpet. He can also push himself backwards pretty far but he hasn't quite figured out the whole moving forward thing yet.

All in all, today was wonderful. I took the day off to spend some time with my boys in addition to taking Ryan to his check-up. We didn't do anything special but I still had a blast hanging with my boys and enjoying the everyday stuff.

This picture is blurry but I still love it. These boys love each other so much!

Also, I couldn't help this (for Ryan's sake, baby 3 needs to be a girl...):

We shopped together. We ate lunch at the hospital cafeteria together (Jacob cracked me up with his big-boy conversations over lunch) and even Ryan got to eat- he enjoy some rice cereal. The boys accompanied me all over town as I ran errands. We stopped at the mall and I let Ryan play at the indoor play place while Jacob rode the mall train. Then we came home and played a little before I whipped up a dinner of enchiladas and spanish rice (one of my fave meals!).

The days that I go to work remind me that I love my job and I love having a career. But days like today, I start to miss being home. In the middle of the day, as I was pushing a cart around Target, trying to keep Jacob wrangled by my side and feeding Ryan a bottle with one hand, I started to feel a stabbing homesickness for my maternity-leave days. Being with my guys one-on-one from breakfast through bedtime was so special. I miss sharing the little moments of the day with them. 

Home Again

Vegas.

Wow.

Just, Wow.

I decided that, in describing the trip, less is more. So, I'll just give some brief, highlights. By the way, this was a ladies only trip ;)

• Dancing and closing down the Toby Keith bar
• Old lady boobs, up close and personal
• Getting into a very heated political debate with an Australian man dressed in a yellow M&M costume (he's an M&M, what does he know?!)
• Vodka for dinner (three times)
• Thunder Down Under
• Sticker-shock: the only thing that got between me and my very first tattoo
• Sleeping until 11am, just because
• More dancing at the Toby Keith bar
• Smoking cigars at the Roulette table
• Betting a grand total of $11
• Losing a net total of $9 of that amount
• Turning into a pumpkin at 12am every night (yes, even in Vegas, I'm still a mom)

As far as photos go, this is the only one that is innocent enough for the internet:

I can definitely see why people tell you not to stay longer than three nights in Vegas. It's totally overwhelming. If it weren't for the great company I was with, I probably would have been ready to go home after 24 hours.

The best part of the trip?

Returning home to a sparkling clean house, laundry put away, dishes done, car vacuumed (my husband is totally amazing) and to this:

Out Of Office

In Las Vegas until Sunday!!! Sleep is mine ;)! Be back later.