Where's The Mute Button?

This evening I took the kids to the YMCA. I ran (6 miles at 7:30 min pace!) while the kids did classes and hung out in the child care center. Then, still sweaty and greasy, I grabbed them and we headed to the pool. They had such a blast, although Ryan was hesitant at first. We all went around in the lazy river. Jacob had a life jacket on and kept floating way out of our reach...because he's a big boy. Ryan, who looked totally unimpressed, finally mustered up enough excitement to splash the water a couple times.

In the locker room we took incredibly LONG showers, because, well....it's free (to us)! I will have to write another post on the incredibly awkward ordeal of dealing with a young boy's sudden onset of modesty and conflicting interest in other peoples' bodies (ugh!).

In the locker room, I heard a lady say that some of her personal belongings had been stolen from the locker room. I didn't think much of it until I pulled up to the Dairy Queen Drive-Thru window and could not find my driver's license or my debit card! I had a moment of panic followed by another moment of hysteria (I wasn't sure what was worse, losing my cards or not being able to pay for my Blizzard!). Then I was oddly calm. I parked the car and dialed my bank's number to report the missing card.

An automated "person" answered and asked, "Please tell me the reason for your call."

"Lost my de---."

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" I was interrupted by Ryan shrieking in the back seat.

"I'm sorry. I did not understand that. Please tell me the reason for your call."

"I los--"

"ROAAAAAAR!!!!" Ryan started screaming like a dinosaur.

"I'm sorry. I did not understand that. Please tell me the reason for your call."

"Ilostmydebitcard!" I blurted out as quickly as possible.

"You are calling to report a lost card? If this is correct, say, 'yes.'"

"Ye---

"OUT!!! MAMA! OUT! ROAAAR!"

"I'm sorry. I did not understand that. If you are calling to report a lost card, say 'yes.'"

"YES."

"Are you reporting a lost ATM, debit, or credit card?"

"de---"

"MAAMAAAAAAAAHHHHH."

"I'm sorry. I did not understant that. Are you re--"

"OUT!!! MAAAAAA!!!"

"I'm sorry. I did not understand that. Are--"

"ROARRRR!"

"I'm sorry. I did not understand that. Are you reporting a lost ATM, debit, or credit card?"

"MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!

"SHUSH! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. JUST SHUSH!!!!!!!!

"I'm sorry. I did not understant that. Are you reporting a lost ATM, debit, or credit card."

"DEBIT!"

"Would you like to place a temporary hold on your card? Say, 'yes' or 'other options.'"

"Ye--"

"NOOO! NAAAA! AAAANOOOOO!"

Ten minutes later, I successfully put a hold on my debit card. But not until I hesitantly whipped out my emergency credit card (yes, this was an emergency) and bought everyone a round of Blizzards to keep the mouths busy.

And then I got home and found both my credit card and driver's license laying on the floor.

So, yay?!