Monday, January 25, 2016

The Great Hair Catastrophe

For the past six months I've been wanting to do something fun with my hair. I had bleach blonde hair as a kid but as I've grown it's become an inbetween blonde-brown color. Honestly, I think it's a non color. It's a neutral, blah-ish shade of no color.

Since we moved, I started going to a new hair place. It's well known for being a high quality salon. And I've really liked it so far. Last time I was there, my hair stylist talked me into doing a balayage/ombre thing. See, I wanted highlights but I was afraid of the high maintenance. But balayage/ombre is this new thing where your hair is darker at the roots and gradually fades into a light color. I googled it. Gorgeous! I downloaded this picture to show my stylist the color I was looking for:

I booked my appointment two weeks in advance. I was anxious and giddy and excited. Hair day could not come soon enough! Iwas going to trade my neutral blah hair for a gorgeous, gradual head of blonde!

Finally hair day arrived. I met my stylist. She served me fancy mint tea. I showed her my picture and she did her thing. She wrapped my head in foil. She painted different layers of color onto my head. I waited an awfully long 30 mins. She shampooed and rinsed and sat me down in front of the mirror for the final reveal. Yipes! She proclaimed how beautiful it would be as she turned me around to face my new self.


I'm sorry. WTF is this. Tell me it's a joke. Have I just been pranked? Not only is the color blotchy and not gradual at ALL, it's the color of brassy straw! This is NOTHING like the picture we discussed. The highlights on the top, which were supposed to flow naturally and gradually into my beautiful, cool blonde look like brassy skunk markings across my scalp.

It is HIDEOUS! I gasped. I had to explain what was wrong. She either didn't notice how bad it was or was playing it cool and hoping my ignorant hair self wouldn't know the horror that had just befallen my unsuspecting head. I asked her to fix the blotches. An hour later, they were NOT fixed. I had to run out the door (and pay for this god awful hair) to get my kids to a birthday party.

I have a color correction appointment on Thursday. But honestly, I have no idea that this can even be fixed. I mean, what can they do? Bleach all my hair to match the nasty brass color? Ugh. I've been wearing my hair up, avoiding mirrors, and trying not to cry all weekend. How am I going to go to work tomorrow?!  To top it off, I have several client meetings! "I'm sorry, due to your obvious lack of good hair judgment, we will not be taking your legal advice."

I might have a sudden religion change and show up to work tomorrow in a hijab.



  1. Balayage/ombre are 2 different techniques. It looks like you got Ombre. I've been getting balayage for about 10 years. They don't use foil they use saran wrap. And they start at the roots and work their way down (the way they do it is different from highlights). I've actually spent the past year growing mine out so I'm in the ombre phase at this point.

    I think the big difference between mine and yours is that there isn't a severe line like there is on your hair. I think that's where the problem is. The color they chose is nice. I think if they add more to the top it will be less noticeable and you'll like it better.

    Maybe say more balayage and less ombre? I'm sorry. Bad hair is the worse. Especially when you feel there is no solution. But I know my color guy said that most color problems can be fixed. The only time its a problem is when you've gone to a crazy color (purple, blue) and even then its fixable - its just how much damage it will do to your hair.

    I loved balayage - I only stopped because it got so expensive. It's less expensive to maintain than highlights and it's grown out really well but its still a lot of money at my salon.

    Good luck!

  2. Oh man, that is not awesome. I've been getting balayage for about 10 years just like the above poster. My salon does use foils but my hair is both really gradual and much more blended, rather than yours, which is kind of dip-dyed right now. I'd ask if they can dye it back to one color and give you soft highlights on top of that.

  3. Is the same woman doing your correction?

  4. I am so sorry. :( I hope things turned out better Thursday!

    I recently looked at my passport photo and cringed--it was taken after a horrid reddish (barely) dye job. I looked like freaking bozo the clown. I can't believe I actually went to court looking like that! It was the last time I used that stylist and I never let anyone dye it again. (No wonder I wear hats--and lucky that I found a $8 box that is exactly the strawberry blonde my hair used to be, and with the melange of red/blonde/brown/white that my hair is, it manages to look relatively natural--especially one white streak by my temple that WILL NOT DYE.)