I sat down and she said, "So, tell me about your self. I want to know about you."
Those kind of questions always catch me off guard. What do I want people to know about me? What message do I want to send? What about me should people know? What makes me "me?" I have no idea. I usually fumble around with where I grew up and how I decided to become a lawyer (political science majors don't have many options if they actually want to eat).
After I managed to squeak by on some kind of half-assed answer, my boss threw out another one. "What are your goals for the future? Where do you want to be and how can I help you get there."
I thought about it for a minute. Where do I want to be? Hmm. I remember when I used to be so ambitious. A go-getter. An overachiever. Never resting. Always taking on something more. Always a goal to work towards. But now? Not so much.
I thought about some of the other people in my office. One of my coworkers has a young daughter, she belongs to all the bar associations, is involved in so many organizations, and goes to all the networking lunches. I'm pretty sure she has her sights set on a judge's seat someday.
But what about me?
I looked at my boss and answered honestly. And the answer kind of surprised me. "I'm really enjoying the balance in my life right now. To be perfectly honest, I'm right where I want to be and don't have any other ambitions right now." Lame? Wrong answer to give your boss? Maybe. But it's the truth.
Seriously, I'm just happy to be employed. I'm happy to have a job I look forward to every day. Right now I have absolutely no desire to take on anything else. I have no desire to get to the next level. I see myself in a position that can probably keep me happy for a very long time.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm satisfied because I've finally landed in a position/career that I spent a lot of money and time working towards and I'm taking time to enjoy that success. Or if I am satisfied because my need to constantly achieve the next thing has been slowly escaping me. All I know is that getting home in time for dinner and park trips with my kids is much more important to me now than climbing the next rung on my career ladder. In fact, I don't even know what that rung would be. And I'm totally 100% ok with that.
In other news, I snuck into my office this weekend with an antsy three year old and fussy baby and painted and "decored" my office. This is the first step I've taken to decorating the office I moved into when I returned from maternity leave. I'm still playing around with it. But I'm loving it so far!
Cute three year old added for extra flavor
I LOVE my window that faces into a wooded ravine. You can't get that in a big city!
I love Jacob's hand art.... and I desperately need updated pics of my boys.
This is the wall I painted (so light blue you can barely tell but just enough to contrast with the white picture frames - which still have the standard picture filler from the store, I need to find something to put in them). As I was touching up a few spots with a brush, I looked over and caught Ryan dipping the roller brush in the paint tray. I yelled "NOOOO" and he whipped around, splattering paint all over the carpet and my conference table. That was a fun mess to clean up. But now my wall will always remind me of him.