Sunday, August 3, 2014

Trouble With Names

Since we're having our third boy, there is very little we actually need to do to prepare for baby. Honestly, even with my first and second, I did very little to prepare for babies. Newborns pretty much just need food and diapers and clothes.

I'm completely dumbfounded by the mothers who go crazy with baby prep. We pretty much go to the hospital. Have a baby. And bring him home. No extra cleaning. No extra cooking. Ok, ok. I guess for my FIRST baby, I pre-washed all the new baby clothes before he arrived. But after I discovered that babies will poop and spit up on their clothes the second you put the outfit on, I kind of figured, "what's the point" and was quickly cured of that habit.

I don't even pack a hospital bag anymore. For my first baby, I used absolutely NOTHING I packed. I didn't wear any clothes until I left the hospital (maybe that's a C-section thing- because I barely walk for several days after a C-section, let alone put on pants). I didn't read. I didn't listen to music. I didn't eat any of the snacks I packed. I mean, pretty much everything you NEED is already at the hospital. Which, for the first four days is limited to mesh panties, hospital gown, food, soap, and lots of pain killers.

So this time around, when it comes to the wonderful world of baby preparation, my stress level is about 0.025 on a scale of 10.

The only thing I'm semi-stressed about (and I mean barely registering on the stress level), is picking a baby name. I have a list of about 10 boy names I like. I have a clear favorite but I would be happy with any one of the names on my list. My husband, on the other hand, only has a list of 2 boy names he finds acceptable. Of those, I hate one of them. The other one is good, but not one of my top contenders.

While I would be ok with the name on my husband's list, I don't want baby boy's name to become that name solely by default. And honestly, to be completely immature, I'm having a hard time swallowing that name on principle. In my mind, it's not fair that my husband won't have to compromise. I've thrown out TEN really good, strong boy names. My husband has vetoed them all. All for no good reason. And when I asked him to throw out the names he likes, he's only put forward a measly TWO names. I'll be a little resentful if one of his two names gets chosen just because I'm the only one willing to be flexible.

Also, one of the names on my list is a family name and it would mean a lot to me if we can use it. But my husband won't even consider it. I'm even willing to compromise on using the name as a middle name but, again, he won't even consider it. The whole thing just makes my blood boil. And I know it's unfair to use this card but....he DIDN'T EVEN WANT A THIRD BABY - while I desperately did! So why does he care so much about the name? This baby was a surprise but a surprise that I desperately prayed for. Shouldn't that give me a little authority on the name?

He's being choosy and picky. The toddler in me wants to be equally choosy and picky and go on a baby naming strike until he has no choice but to compromise. I keep imagining our nurses refusing to let us leave the hospital because we can't agree on a name to put on the birth certificate. And as each week passes, I'm starting to think more and more that this might not be such a far-fetched scenario.


  1. We're in the same boat. I have a list on my phone that I constantly add to, while my husband has two names on his list, with one his top contender. I'm so tired at almost-30 weeks, I told him, fine. We'll go with that. But I hate giving in! We'll see what happens at the hospital.

  2. This may be devious, but I kind of think if you want to get your way you could just delay, delay, delay. Once you're at the hospital and have just had major abdominal surgery for the THIRD time and are in pain while recovering, it will be a lot harder for him to resist your entreaties, right??

  3. I agree with Emily. You could also just... start referring to your baby by the name you like, and see if he comes around. While I was convinced I was having a boy, I just started calling the baby George, and B hated the name. But, after a couple of weeks, he was totally on board with it!