So, Jonathan. Big deep sigh. I don't think his acid reflux medication is working. It's been two weeks and he's still hit or miss. And by "hit or miss," I mean that some days he will cry and scream every non-feeding waking moment and other times he will scream and cry only for half of the non-feeding waking moments. It wouldn't be so bad if I only had him. But extremely fussy baby + two other kids (especially in a tiny house without a playroom) is just A LOT to handle. When I tell people he is fussy, they are all like "oh yeah, I had a fussy baby too" or "yeah, all my babies went through a fussy stage" or "you say that about all your babies" and I'm like "no, I'm sorry, but this is beyond fussy. You DON'T EVEN!" And they all just look at me like I'm a crazy first-time mom. And I want to punch someone in the face.
Warning sign of impending eruption
Typical scene in our house:
Oh my gosh! My baby is crying?! I had NO IDEA. Maybe I should try giving him the pacifier that is clipped to his shirt. Maybe I should stop starving him?! Maybe I should actually change his diaper once in a while. I'm such a weirdo. My baby is screaming and I didn't even THINK about trying any of these things to make him feel better. (That was sarcasm, by the way)
I think I need to carry around a sign that reads as follows:
DEAR PEOPLE. My baby is crabby. There is nothing the freak wrong with him. He is fed. He has a clean diaper. He is just crabby. No, I won't try feeding him rice milk. No, I won't buy another stupid swing or bouncing baby seat. He cries like this all the time. It's just his thing. There is nothing I can do to stop it right now so I just need to buy my effing groceries and go home. Please leave me alone. MY BABY IS JUST AN EFFING JERK AND THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO STOP IT SO LEAVE ME ALONE!
Oh man. Sorry about that. I just REALLY had to get that off my chest.
On the rare occasion the two babies fall asleep in the car, I park somewhere, leave the car running, and rip into a bag of chocolate. This usually buys me two minutes of free time until someone wakes up crying again:
On Wednesday, I accompanied my husband to a work event in Seattle. We dropped off all three kids at my parents' house before catching the ferry. When we came back, my mom informed me that Jon had cried basically the whole night. I was like, "See! I told you! I'm NOT crazy. He really DOES cry all the time." Then my mom proceeded to lavish me with pity and sympathy and then more pity. And it felt really good. That's when I realized what it was that I had really been needing all week long. Instead of non-stop curious stares and unhelpful advice, I have really just been needing someone to understand how hard my days are and tell me they are sorry and try to empathize. To have someone walk four hours in my shoes, experience all the craziness first hand, tell me that they finally get why I'm always complaining, and then reassure me that they are in my corner, it's all I really need right now (well, that and four arms and five bottle of wine). I'll tell you, it was amazing to finally get that.
And how did my mom know that was all I needed? Because no matter how old you are, moms are always there for you (I say this as I rock a very unhappy 2 month old that no one else wants to hold).
Epilogue: I bought some baby probiotics today on the advice of several readers and FB friends (thank you!). I'm crossing my fingers that this helps a little.
Past out from exhaustion:
Thank goodness he's cute when he's not crying: