Wednesday, January 7, 2015

After A Brief Interlude, Life Goes On

I assumed that having a third child would be a challenge to our marriage. But so far, and to my complete amazement, our third child has had exactly the opposite effect. Jonathan's addition to our family has brought a LOT of chaos. But instead of our marriage drowning in that chaos, the chaos has actually caused us to pull closer together (uniting against a common enemy?).

I try to pinpoint exactly what it is that has changed, but I really can't put my finger on it. I feel so supported by my husband. I feel like we communicate so much better than we did just a couple months ago. And I feel like we appreciate each other so much more. Sometimes, it's nothing more than just a feeling in the air (maybe it's all in my head?).

Because there is so much chaos surrounding dealing with the kids, it's obviously more than any one parent can handle. So we BOTH step up to deal with kid stuff. We both tackle bed time and meal time and all the other "times." We are outnumbered now. It's all hands on deck! Also, because we both have jobs outside the home, we both expect that dealing with kids and household chores will be split evenly. I've come to learn that in a marriage (or dealing with any person, in general), expectations are huge. If you can understand what someone's expectations are (no matter how reasonable or unreasonable) you can understand where they are coming from and figure out how to meet them halfway. Obviously, things are NOT always split evenly. But we both understand that, overall, it tends to even out.

This weekend, my husband and I had the rare luxury of spending a night away from all three of the kids. We don't buy each other Christmas gifts. But this year, we decided that as our "gift," we would book a hotel room at our favorite local resort, Alderbrook. It's an amazing lodge style resort. It's gorgeous and fancy and luxurious, but all the while very laid back and non-pretentious (EXACTLY our style). We booked the room for Saturday night, dropped all the kids off with my parents, and fled to our little paradise. It was AMAZING.

I forget sometimes how much I really like this guy

While sipping on sparkling wine (never opened for NYE), we relaxed in bed and watched the end of a football game. Then we went downstairs and had a yummy dinner at the bar (we decided the restaurant menu was too fancy for us). The we soaked in the hot tub and played in the pool and alternated between the two like a bunch of playful kids. With lots of alcohol to drink and nowhere to go, we had so much fun goofing off and being carefree. And I got a coveted six hours of uninterrupted sleep before I pumped and then enjoyed another three hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I never wanted to leave the bed

We haven't had that much fun since we were dating seven years ago! As amazing as the night was, it was one night too short. We plan to go back next year (at the latest) and hopefully stay for a longer period of time.

I SO need one of these at home. This is probably a step down from yoga pants though, not a step up.

We picked up the kids Sunday early afternoon and it has been back to reality, full force edition, since then. My days with the kids seem so long and laborious but at the same time, they also seem to fly by. Two of my boys have some kind of illness and I have been cleaning up a lot of poop (ugh) and giving a lot of baths and doing a lot of laundry. I never imagined I'd have to clean poop off of a wall ever, much less numerous times. Also, the two oldest are constantly fighting. It's not a rare occasion that all three of my kids are crying at the same time (Jacob- an injury inflicted by Ryan. Ryan - a tantrum caused by no nap or by something Jacob did. Jonathan- because Ryan keeps waking him up from naps). When this happens, it's really hard not to join in the crying (sometimes I do).

I had to snap this picture so that my husband would believe me when I told him how crabby all the kids were being.

Ryan is not always Jacob's favorite person. Did I mention they share a room? And soon the two of them will also share a room with much torture!

Ryan's new favorite phrase is "I HATE somebody." Which is usually stated after an indignant "Harumph" with both arms folded in front of his chest. He also is known to say "I HATE this time" or "I HATE now" when we force him to do something he doesn't like (which is pretty much anything).

But he does like being sous chef. And he makes a pretty cute one at that! His favorite thing in the world is when I give him a piece of pizza dough or cookie dough to play with. He usually ends up playing baseball with it. So don't eat anything Ryan "cooks.

When things get really hard, I've discovered that it helps to just tackle one thing at a time. If my house is a mess and all the kids are hungry and crying at the same time, everything can be so overwhelming. So, I just look at one issue first. The baby needs a new diaper. Next...Ryan needs a new diaper. Next... the kids need breakfast. When I do this, I'm always amazed at how quickly I can get things under control.

Today, I was so busy that I didn't even get a chance to eat lunch or dinner or drink more than 20 oz of water (I aim for 100 oz/day) until all three were in bed. Even though Ryan is 2.5, I forget how much he still needs constant attention. Lately, he is almost impossible to put down for a nap. I have to lay in bed with him and the lighting has to be just right and the covers have to be placed just-so, and I have to hold his hand and he has to have his sippy cup. Even then, he might just lay in bed for ten minutes, pop open his eyes, and say "I'm awake now!" UGH. But without a nap, he is the world's crabbiest tyrant! And the days he doesn't nap, he makes me carry him when we go pick up Jake from school. I do this  A LOT.

So freaking heavy....

In Jonathan news...he has turned into a completely different baby. On Sunday I stopped giving him his acid reflux medicine (I ran out and had an issue with the pharmacist over the refill). On the same day, I started supplementing his feedings with formula throughout the day. And he seems to have changed overnight! He's so much happier and when he's fussy it's for an actual reason, like hunger or being tired. And.... he has the longest eyelashes in the entire whole world:

Now that he's happy, having a baby in the house is AMAZING once again. They smell so good. They give the best cuddles. And they are so cute that it hurts.

Tomorrow I have a real, life work conference with my boss and a coworker about our upcoming trial. Remember that trial I had in August that ended in a hung jury? Well, we're doing the whole thing again in March. And I won't be hugely pregnant! And maybe I can use this as an excuse to buy a second suit! I'm legitimately excited (I love trials). More importantly, I'm excited to have a grown up conversation with someone about something other than baby poop!


  1. Yay! I'm so glad supplementing with formula worked wonders for Ryan. Having a healthy, happy newborn is hard enough!

  2. Oops, not Ryan. You know what I mean.