Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Conversations: How I'm Earning My 6-Figure Education

Some days you just hit the jackpot:

Man: "It's been three month, why haven't you settled my case."

Me: "Uh, because it usually takes 1-3 years."

Man: "You know the first thing King Henry did when he became king?"

Me: "[Sigh.] No. I don't"

Man: "He killed all the lawyers! And NOW I know why!"

Me: "Yeah.... I think that was just in a Shakespeare play."


Woman: "[Frantic] My brother's in jail for a sexual assault and I think he's innocent! What do I gotta do?!"

Me: "You need to call a criminal defense firm."

Woman: "He's innocent! He really is! How much will it cost?"

Me: "I don't know, we don't do criminal defense."

Woman: "That 11 year old bitch framed him! I know he's innocent. I just feel it."

Me: "I can give you the number of a criminal defense attorney."

Woman: "How much money will it take to get him free?!"

Me: "I have no idea. Here's the number for the other attorney."

Woman: "So, will you take my case?"


Me: "I'll let him know that you called. What's your phone number?"

Woman: "1-800-In-Da-Butt! Ha ha ha ha!!!"

Me: "..?.."

Woman: "Ok, seriously? It's XXX-5555"


  1. It gets me crazy when people use that "let's kill the lawyers" quote. Have they read the play? No, obviously not! The quote is actually complimentary for lawyers AHHHH (sorry, you hit my rage button!).

  2. "That 11 year old bitch framed him." Eeeeewwwwww. Yuck. Blech!