I Guess I'll Survive Afterall

Today went pretty well. But I have a few thoughts:

(1) I need DRUGS! Tomorrow, my caffeine strike is officially ending. It's just not possible to be a productive office-dweller and cater to two small children in one day without it. Short of getting more sleep (HA! Like that's going to happen) It's the only way to make sure I don't fall asleep in medical records. Who wants to wake up from a nap to a picture of someone's colonoscopy?! Ew.

(2) Idle hands are a mom's worst enemy. I was doing so well when I got to work. I hadn't shed a single tear! I dove enthusiastically into the pile of work on my desk. I slowly cleared the cobwebs from my mind by remembering cases and my own computer password.... then lunch happened. I usually look forward to lunch. But today, it was my first opportunity to think about the kids. "Had Ryan pooped yet? Was it wet or chunky?" I looked out at the sunny weather and I could just imagine Jacob, pantsless and in his bright green crocs, combing my parents' beach for "treasures." I had to work hard to keep the tears at bay and to keep from feeling sorry for myself that I was stuck in an office and not out exploring the world with them.

(3) Shaping underwear is my new best friend. Should I eat another chocolate? Sure! Why not! My shaping underwear will hide it so it's basically like it never happened. Right? On a related note, how many butt clenches does it take to burn off a handful of M&M's?

(4)  I swear that since I've been gone, the eight hour work day has gotten loooooooonger. People really actually sit at a desk for 8 hours? REALLY?! I miss naptime!

(4) (edited: obviously there are still some cobwebs as I haven't regained my ability to count) I was spoiled to have a 4 month maternity leave. Those 4 months were such an amazing time in my life. I would happily relive any moment from the past 4 months- even the ones where I had poop splatters all over my arms or where I was doing damage control during one a very persistent and stubborn 3.5 year old's tantrum.

(5) Today, I didn't have a lot of time with the kids. In fact, we only got 4 awake hours together. BUT the quality of that time greatly surpassed any 4 hour chunk in a pre-work day.

(6) Although I had a good day, my heart felt a little teeny bit like it was breaking at some points. I know this will eventually ease up but maybe I don't want it to. I don't WANT to get used to being apart. I don't want to be desensitized (I know, I know, I'm so DRAMATIC!).

(7) Although it can be hard to be apart, there is nothing better in the world than reuniting with my adorable, tired, crabby, dirt-covered children at the end of the day. When I met my mom at our pick-up and drop off location, this is the scene that was awaiting me:

Grandma tired them out!

And then after we got home:

Trying so hard to sit up on his own

My goofy guy

Monster butt! Finally, butt embellishments for boys!