"Did you have a good day at school?"
"What did you guys do today?"
"Well, guess what? On the bus this girl's pants were unzipped and she didn't even know it and me and another person who is a girl saw her UNDIES!"
[Really kid?! I haven't seen you in nine hours and THIS is what you want to tell me?!]
"And during free time, I just wanted to sit at my desk and not play. And Mrs. P asked me if I was ok and I said I just didn't feel like playing. So she told me to come see her and count to 100. I counted all the way to 100 and she gave me a.......[Jacob paused for dramatic effect].....A STICKER!"
[Wow, a whole freaking sticker]
"And later we played Duck, Duck, Goose but the girls think Nick is cute so they picked him like ten times and they only picked me two times. Sigh. It's not fair."
[Really, I had no idea Duck, Duck, Goose was so riddled with hidden agendas. Hmmm, that just might explain why I was NEVER picked]
"And then during craft time, Madison took a glue stick and rubbed it all over her lips like it was lipstick and the teacher got mad."
[The teacher should give her super glue next time]
Jacob's school stories are the highlight of my days. Whenever I ask him how school was, I just never know what kind of answer I will get. My favorite stories are what I call Madison* stories. Apparently she is this girl in Jacob's class who has never been parented a day in her life. She sounds like an absolute disaster on two feet. And everyday, without fail, Jacob tells me some crazy thing that Madison did in class.
So far, since school started, Madison has:
Used a glue stick as lipstick
Pooped all over the classroom toilet
Colored on the wall
Stuck a crayon up her nose
Stuck a piece of bark up her nose
Tried to cut her lips off with scissors
Told the teacher that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to do and stomped out of the room (which landed her in the principle's office)
And these are just the things Jacob has TOLD me about....I totally understand now why they say public school teachers are so underpaid.
Can I just ask one question? How come no one ever told me that having a Kindergartner would be so much fun? I've always known and treasured the joys of babies and toddlers (even when they are acting contrary, I just love that age). But in my 12 years of babysitting kids of ALL ages, I never appreciated the joys of Kindergartners. That is exactly what Jacob is right now-- a joy. I can't describe him in any other way.
I genuinely have fun talking to him and listening to his stories and observations. He is old enough to hold interesting conversations and actually contribute. But he is still young enough that he actually wants me to be with him at school. I am now convinced that Kindergartners are the perfect age. They are the best of toddlers and the best of big kids combined into one.
It was raining when I picked Jake up from school. He was so bummed he couldn't play outside. So I told him to take off his shoes and socks and just go play in the rain. He looked at me like I had just offered him a giant cruise ship full of lollipops. Here in Seattle, we can't let a little rain stop us or else we'd never leave the house!
*name changed to protect the not-so-innocent